Why we won't be hiring you as a babysitter

Dear prospective babysitter, 

We get it. You were so excited to work for us--the perfect family with the perfect job the perfect distance from your house--that in your haste you mixed up "there" and "their" in your application. We're cool, so we let that slide. But there were a few other issues in that our application that concerned us:

Although our dress code is playdate casual, we do expect you to wear a shirt, so you should probably wear one in your profile photo.

Speaking of profile photos, you probably included that one of yourself on the hotel bed to show you are comfortable in new and unfamiliar settings. Or maybe you want us to know that you're good at putting people to bed? In either case, we think it would be best to crop the liquor bottles out of the shot.

Telling us that you will make a good sitter because you live close by is somewhat undermined by misspelling your street name. 

Obviously we think it's important to keep our child safe, otherwise we'd be telling you where to find the toybox full of matches and knives. But we're not so sure the world is quite as dangerous as you made it out to be when you wrote that you would always make sure to close and lock our windows.

It's great that you take such pride in your family, including your adult daughter's scores on nationwide elementary school achievement tests. At this time, our two-year-old doesn't require much academic coaching.

Yes, our son has red hair. Yes, he is adorable in his profile photo. But when you write you can't wait until your friends get to see how cute he is, we question your social media savvy. 

When we shared our love of cooking in our ad and wrote that we would like our sitter to do occasional cooking, we weren't expecting you to respond with your favorite recipe for PB&J.  

We wish you the best of luck with the rest of your search. We're sure that with a little more attention to your application you will find a great family to work for.